


Quiet Clairvoyant

by TacticalCupcakes



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Gen, Mind Reading
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2020-08-23 05:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20237287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TacticalCupcakes/pseuds/TacticalCupcakes
Summary: Yuri goes over to Monika's house with the others for a sleepover, hoping that it'll be a pleasant evening of harmless fun. However, after accidentally hitting her head, Yuri starts hearing what her friends are actually thinking about...





	1. Extemperaneousness

“Hey! Come on in!”

Monika ushered myself, Natsuki, and Sayori through the door with the warmth and hospitality one would expect from her. When she had first floated the idea of inviting the club to spend the night at her home, I was somewhat skeptical; my bed feels like something of a safe haven to me, and it makes me a bit anxious if I’m sleeping somewhere new. However, with Sayori’s contagious enthusiasm and some gentle prodding from Monika, I eventually caved and agreed to come along.

“Looks like we’re all here,” Monika grins, “shall we get started?”

“Oh, will Emery not be joining us tonight?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Nah,” Sayori giggled, “he wanted to go to an _Extravagant Destruction Siblings Finale _tournament.”

“Regardless, there’s no way I’d wanna spend the night in a room with _him_,” Natsuki huffs, sharply turning off to the side. “It’d be super awkward with a guy being here…”

“I see…”

Truth be told, I don’t really mind whether or not he was planning on attending; I had just assumed that since Monika wanted us to have our meeting over here instead of earlier today at school that he would come by too.

“He’s not all that bad!” Sayori turns to Natsuki, “when we were kids we’d have sleepovers all the time, and we’d eat crisps and either watch movies or play _Corsh Bindicrat Racer_ all night.”

“That actually sounds rather precious,” I titter, imagining a tiny Sayori holding an old controller above her head victoriously next to a similarly tiny Emery.

“Yes, yes, I’m sure it was a hoot,” Natsuki rolls her eyes, “now can we get started on the meeting?”

“My my, you’re quite eager, aren’t you?” Monika says with a smile, which catches Natsuki off guard. “Actually, I had something a little more… exciting planned for the night. Why don’t you all drop off your things in one of the guest bedrooms, and I’ll get things set up down here?”

_Wait… “one of the guest rooms”… as in, there’s more than one? Goodness, I knew Monika’s family was well to-do, but that seems a little excessive… just how many guests does she usually have to warrant having multiple places for them to stay?_

Shrugging it off and heading upstairs, I decide to take the empty room at the far end of the hallway. For some reason, I feel a bit safer if I’m sleeping a bit further away from everyone else.

Inside, the room is soft and soothing; there’s a couple of abstract paintings hung up on the smooth, off-white walls, and across the hard wooden floor is a plush-looking bed, held up in a stylish metal frame. A dainty cushion sits between a pair of pillows, enticingly encouraging their guest to rest their head upon them.

Placing my bag down on the floor, I wander over to one of the paintings for a closer look. The piece has seemingly random brushstrokes of differing colours haphazardly whisked against the canvas, with a physical hole bursting through the top and revealing minor fraying of the material. Although I’m not quite sure what mood the original artist had intended to convey, I still enjoy it. Part of the beauty of modern art is how much of its meaning can be left open to interpretation. What someone might see as an incoherent mess could appear to be an intricate tapestry of-

“Hey, Yuri!” I hear Monika shout downstairs, “did you get lost?”

_Oh goodness, now I’m making everyone annoyed by having to wait for me. I really shouldn’t-_

Turning around to quickly head back downstairs, my thoughts are interrupted by my clumsy self tripping over my bag, causing me to collide with the bedframe.

For a few moments, I only hear a faint ringing sound. Then, I feel pain.

Disregarding what one should do after a fall, I push myself back up and stumble through the doorway, trying to power through the initial dizziness. Although it certainly hurts, I don’t think I’ve sustained any sort of serious injury. I might have a bump by tomorrow, but I doubt something more troublesome has happened. And even if it had, I can’t keep the others waiting on me for much longer.


	2. Realization

As I descend the staircase, I can hear Natsuki and Sayori gushing over pictures of the latter’s new pet cockatiel. Natsuki might deny it when other people call _her_ cute, but she’s always had a soft spot for animals.

“There you are!” Monika exclaims, turning to me with a smile. “I heard a noise upstairs; is everything okay?”

“O-Oh, yes!” I say, rubbing at the small bump on my head, “I, um, just… had a bit of a fall. B-But I’m okay!”

“Is that so?” she tilts her head to the side curiously. “Well, at least you’re alright. Now, come down here!”

She gestures towards an empty spot on a setee next to her, and I politely take it.

“Hopefully this isn’t a sign of what’s to come,” Monika says under her breath, “I’m supposed to be showing everyone a good time tonight, right? And we’re already starting off with an injury…”

“Oh, it’s not too bad, really!” I wave off her concern, laughing shyly.

“Hm? What’s not too bad?” Natsuki raises an eyebrow.

“I, um…” I trail off, confused, “didn’t Monika just say…?”

“Eh? I didn’t say anything…”

_But… I could’ve sworn… that was definitely her voice, wasn’t it?_

“Way to go, Monika,” she tuts at herself, “that was unnecessarily combative, wasn’t it? I should’ve worded that a different way…”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t take any offense!” I say gently, trying to ease the tension.

“Yuri, you’re not making any sense…” Natsuki says, “are you sure you’re okay?”

_No… but…_

“_Oh god, we couldn’t just have a nice night in, could we? If only I’d done a better job at preparing things earlier, this might not’ve happened; I’m such a bad host…”_

It was at this point that it occurred to me; I was absolutely hearing Monika’s voice, but… her lips weren’t moving.

“_Oh heck, I really hope Yuri’s okay…” _Sayori’s voice suddenly pops into my head

“_Yuri, are you not feeling well?” _Natsuki’s voice says, “_Maybe you should come up to my room and… have a bit of a lie down… heh…”_

“U-Um!” I suddenly stand up, “I think… I need to go to the loo!”

“_Should I follow her?” _Monika ponders. “_I probably should’ve checked for a concussion or something… that’s what a considerate person would do, isn’t it?”_

Still rubbing at the sore spot on my head, I quickly pace away until I’m alone in the toilet. Hastily searching the towel rack, I find a small flannel and soak it in cool water from the tap. After wringing the excess water out, I hold it to the bump, and look at myself in the mirror.

_I don’t _think_ I’m concussed… I’m doing just fine with the lights on in here, and I can see myself clearly… my pupils haven’t dilated or anything else… but…_

_I’m not going crazy, am I? I really did hear everyone talking just now…_

Given the intimate setup we had in the living room, it would have been impossible for anyone else to not have heard someone else speak. So why is it that only I seem to hear it…?

“_Oh, Yuri… I hope I didn’t push you to do… that…”_ Monika’s voice sounds faint, but still recognizable. Although she’s still in the other room, I can hear her clearly.

_But given how she’s phrasing things, she’s probably… talking to herself… but also in a way that one would think when they’re alone._

_Wait… “think”…_

Suddenly, something clicks in my mind. I’m not having auditory hallucinations; I can clearly hear everyone speaking. However, if I can hear them speak whilst they’re not opening their mouths, and they’re talking as though they’re alone…

“Can I… hear what they’re thinking…?”

I chuckle to myself, shaking my head. “No… that doesn’t happen in real life. That’s the kind of thing that only shows up in fiction…”

And yet… here we are. Somehow, after hitting my head, I gained the ability to read the minds of my friends.

The implications behind this power are… kind of worrying. I don’t want to interfere with the private lives of my friends, after all. However…

_Perhaps some good can come from this. Something’s clearly bothering Monika, but she doesn’t feel comfortable bringing it up in front of everyone. If I can slip past the narrative she’s showing on the outside, maybe I can deduce the root cause of her anxiety about tonight…_

_But even if I did listen in to the thoughts of my friends, what would I do with that knowledge? I doubt they’d believe me if I told them how I’d learnt about their secrets and insecurities; I need to approach this carefully…_

I place the flannel back on the towel rack to dry, and start making my way back to the living room.

Will we have an ordinary club meeting? Or is that just what everybody wants to convey on the outside?

_I suppose for better or worse, I’m about to find out…_


	3. Apprehension

“So,” Natsuki looks over to Monika, “what was this super special thing you had planned for tonight?”

“Well, I thought it’d be nice to try to get to know each other on a bit more of a personal level,” she responds with a sly grin.

“_Okay, here we go, set the stage again…” _she adds internally, her mental voice tinged with a slight sense of unease her face does an impeccable job of hiding.

“And I think a good way of going about that would be to play a game of… Truth or dare!”

_Dare…?_

I swallow nervously. The prospect of giving up some of my darkest secrets is already unsettling, but add on the potential of having to perform some excessively embarrassing act whilst I’m laughed at is a terrifying proposition.

“_I’m sorry, Yuri…” _Monika thinks, “_but hopefully seeing everyone put themselves out that will help you come out of your shell a bit…_”

I’m about to respond to her apology, but then remember that nobody else heard that.

Although this _does_ raise a curious predicament; even if the others choose “dare” to avoid “truth”, I’d get to hear what they wanted hidden anyway. And that really doesn’t seem fair…

“T-That sounds exciting…” I stammer, offering Monika a small smile. If I’m going to hear everybody else’s awkward thoughts, it’s only right to give them the chance to ask me as well.

_And if worst comes to worst, I can use my extensive vocabulary to provide an answer that’s just vague enough to protect my dignity whilst also technically being correct. Which is the best kind of correct!_

Natsuki chuckles. “Alright, if _Yuri’s _up for it, then I want in; I’ve _got _to see this!”

“_Heh, and I can totally use this as an opportunity to make a move… like ‘I dare you to sleep in my bed tonight’… but less creepy and more smooth.”_

She smirks to herself, confident that nobody else knows her ulterior motives.

“Oh, this is gonna be so fun!” Sayori exclaims, shuffling closer and pumping her fist into the air.

“_Okay, breathe Sayori… we can make it through this… “_

Out of everybody else in the group, I wouldn’t have expected Sayori to be the one with reservations. On the outside she looks absolutely ecstatic, but…

_Are you hiding something, Sayori?_

“Perfect!” Monika claps, “so, would anyone like to go first?”

“If you’re gonna be like that,” Natsuki raises an eyebrow at Monika, “I think _you_ should. Set an example for us, Ms. President!”

“A-Ahaha, that’s…”

“_Damn it, I had hoped they’d uncover something about each other and get to talking. But I suppose this is just part of the game…”_

“…fine. Give me a dare!”

“Hmm…” Natsuki strokes her chin thoughtfully, “I’ll give you an easy one to start with. Either tell us about the last date you went on, or… show us the tab that’s currently open on your phone.”

For a brief moment, a glimmer of doubt flashes across Monika’s eyes. “_Urk! There’s no way I can do that! I was in the middle of that ‘Beating Hearts Redditor Club: __TC-chan O hoshii desu yo!!’ doujinshi! I’ll never live it down if they found out I was reading that!”_

That… really wasn’t something I was expecting to find out about Monika. I’ve heard Natsuki mention the term once; I think it’s just some kind of manga, isn’t it? Then why wouldn’t Monika want to share that? It sounds like she’d be able to find some common ground there…

“S-So…” Monika laughs nervously, “the last… date I went on…wasn’t anything super special; we just had a casual lunch together, and then we went to a small bakery.”

“_They don’t have to know that I just brought a flash drive with TC’s character file on it with me and bought some cake. I’ll let them come up with something.”_

“See? That wasn’t so bad… although it begs the question; what were you so afraid of us finding on your phone?”

“A-Anyway!” she scratches the back of her head, “that’s all I have to say about that!”

Waiting until Natsuki is suitably satisfied and looks away, she sighs quietly to herself.

“_This was a bad idea, I can already tell. I thought I’d try to project the image of the outspoken, confident leader by suggesting a dangerous game like this; but I neglected to take into account that it’s mostly just a façade. In reality, I’m so worried about my reputation that I push everyone away. Even now, as I tried to force myself to open up a bit, I just went with whatever sounded the ‘best’ to someone else.”_

_“…Natsuki doesn’t have any trouble telling the rest of the club about her interests; I wish I could be upfront like that, and not terrified of embarrassing myself…”_

…Goodness, now _that _wasn’t what I was expecting to hear. Putting aside the fact that Monika could very well be a closeted geek, is she not as commandeering as she’d like others to believe? Does she regret going as far as she has, and does she feel like she’s now got too much to lose to take a social risk?

I’ve always envied Monika’s natural leadership tendencies and her ability to talk to others so effortlessly, but perhaps I’ve been too quick to judge; although she can eventually articulate her thoughts in a coherent manner, does she also struggle with finding the right words to express her thoughts?

“N-Now,” Monika clears her throat, “how about we move on? Who would like to go next?”


	4. Distress

“You know what,” Natsuki clears her throat, “why not? What’ve you got for me, Monika?”

“_Heh, seeing Miss Perfect over here all flustered was awesome! And now, if she comes up with a cool dare for me, I can show off how confident I am in front of Yuri!”_

Did I hear that right? Is Natsuki… harbouring feelings of infatuation for me?

She silently nods, a playful smirk adorning her lips. “_Damn, like, she’s so cute; she has to be the Northern Lights or something, because she’s Adoraborealis!_”

I cough suddenly, surprised by how direct that statement was. Well, I suppose it wasn’t _really _a statement since she just thought it, but… I still find myself needing to compose myself, hiding behind the thick, violet veil of my hair to shield my burning face.

“Hmm…’ Monika scratches her chin thoughtfully, “I think I’ve got one; either you have to brush your teeth and then drink some orange juice, or… you can tell us whatever you’re most scared of.”

“E-Eh?” Natsuki flinches, and her eyes twitch for a split second. She seems to space out for a few seconds, then shakes her head. “I-I’m sorry, uh, could you repeat that?”

“My, My, and here you were having a go at me,” Monika titters. “Either have some minty OJ, or tell us something you find really, really scary!”

“A-Ah…”

Again, Natsuki seems to disconnect from reality; although her expression remains relatively neutral, her gaze is locked upon some unknown fixed point about one thousand metres away.

“_Scary… he is scary… no matter how much I try to hide, he manages to find me… even now, I thought I could get away from all of that for just one night, and he’s creeping into my head again…”_

“_Who am I kidding? I put on this proud act to try and convince people I’m not some frightened little kid, but… that’s all I am. I don’t remember the last time I felt relaxed; even if I escape those thoughts for just a little while, they’re always waiting, he’s always waiting, and he never gets tired, and I can’t stop him, and I can’t stop him, and I can’t stop him, and I can’t stop him, and I can’t-“_

“N-Natsuki!” I reach out and tap her shoulder gently, hoping to break her out of the circle she’s trapped in.

“EEK!” she leaps up, reflexively bringing her arms up to her face, as if to protect herself. After a second, she realizes what she’d just done, and quickly tries to stand up straight.

“I-I mean! I’m gonna do the juice one!” she laughs nervously, before running away.

“Is she okay?” Sayori asks the rest of us, worry painted on her face.

“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Monika shrugs. “If something was really eating away at her, she’d tell us, right?”

“I’m not so sure…” I sigh, “Natsuki is certainly quite proud; I doubt she’d willingly look for help with something like that…”

The other two nod thoughtfully. However, with what I just heard from her, I’m not sure the explanation is quite that simple. I imagine she _would_ have some sense of pride when it comes to personal matters, and with that would probably be a feeling of shame from asking for help. But… her mannerisms just now, coupled with the palpable fear in her inner voice…

_Who is the “he” she kept referring to? Is someone bullying her at school? Does her father know about it? I don’t know how close the two of them are, but perhaps he could help her in some way…?_

Before I can go down that road any further, I’m interrupted by Natsuki rushing back into the room, holding a tall glass filled with orange juice.

“Wait, no way…” Sayori grimaced, “you’re not…”

“I’m not a quitter!” Natsuki shouts in an effort to psyche herself up, then quickly downs the entire glass. She shivers from the discordant assault on her senses, then tries to shoot Monika a smug grin, only for it to come off more like a skittish hope for approval.

“T-There…” she frowns again, “nothing can stop me!”

“Except for whatever was so scary you didn’t want to tell us,” Monika raises an eyebrow.

“T-That!” Natsuki sputters, “That’s just because, uh… nothing scares me! And there’s no way you’d take that answer!”

“Yeah, yeah…” Monika waves away her justification, “what matters is you had that tasty vitamin C!”

“You’re so brave, Natsuki!” Sayori cheers encouragingly.

“Yeah, that’s me…” she closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath.

“_It’s okay… nobody noticed… all you’ve got to do is keep cool and make it through the night… one day at a time, just make it through the night…”_

This is an entirely different side of Natsuki than what I’m used to. The boastful girl who’s not afraid to speak her mind has inexplicably shifted into someone lost and timid. Whatever it is that ails her, she’s _very _good at concealing it; I could make a guess about what’s happening to her, but I’d rather hear it from her with her consent. I suppose all I can do for now is show her that I’m available and willing to listen to her.

_And perhaps if we get better acquainted, she’ll graduate from pick-up lines to thoughtful courting…_

“Alright,” Natsuki asks, “who’s gonna go for round three?”


	5. Forlorn

“Ooh, I’ll go!” Sayori raises her hand enthusiastically, a bright smile on her face.

Natsuki rubs her chin thoughtfully. “Okay, well… how about you either give me your phone for 10 minutes and let me text Emery whatever I want, _or _you tell all of us about something super embarrassing that happened between you and Emery as kids!”

“_Heck,_” Sayori’s concentration falters ever-so-slightly, but one wouldn’t be able to notice without the level of insight that I currently have. “_What do I do here…? I don’t want to tell them about the feelings I have for Emery, and the messes I ended up getting myself into because of them, but… if Natsuki pretends to be me and says some really bad things to Emery…_”

If she had said this out loud, I would have quietly but caringly offered my support, whilst tactfully informing her that she’s not exactly been subtle about her crush on her childhood friend. Even without the ability to read her thoughts, _anyone _could guess it based on the ways the two of them interact.

But if it’s so obvious to everybody else… why can’t either of them see it?

“So, uh” she giggles nervously, “an embarrassing moment I had with Emery… I guess there was a time when we’d just started middle school where we were heading down the stairs in the hallway to our next class, and I tripped. Emery tried to catch me, but I ended up taking him down with me, and the two of us just tumbled down together. After getting my bearings, I realized that… he was… lying on top of me!”

She squeals excitedly, but tries to hide her increasingly obvious blush. “Neither of us knew how to get out of that situation, so we just kinda stayed there for a while until we were finally snapped out of it when we heard that someone was coming down the hallway.”

“Ah, now that’s kind of sweet,’ Monika offers Sayori a tender smile. “There’s a nice little bit of innocence to that story.”

“Eheh, yeah…” Sayori rubs the back of her head.

“_If only things could have stayed that way…”_

Although she’s still smiling, her internal voice speaks in a tone of vast contrast to her outwardly sunny disposition. It’s almost as though I can physically feel her sighing, each lamenting breath whisking me side to side like a rowboat on a less-than-relaxing lake.

“_When we were kids, we wouldn’t get embarrassed like that. We’d happily walk around everywhere holding hands, chasing after butterflies and getting ice cream. But now…”_

_“Growing up sucks. I don’t like this painful feeling in my heart when I think of him; he deserves someone better than me; someone like Natsuki, who shares his interests much more passionately than I ever could. And although I know that’s logically true… why can’t I make myself accept it? How can I be so selfish as to believe he might actually be happy if I were to confess to him?”_

Hearing such mournful pining coming from Sayori is unnerving to say the least; I had always just assumed she was invulnerable to those sorts of sad thoughts, but the exhaustion with which she… well, not ‘speaks’, but… is expressing herself with here, even though she doesn’t think anyone else can hear her… is this how she actually feels?

I feel a sharp pang of guilt tug inside of me, wrapping around my ribcage uncomfortably. She does her best to make everyone around her happy whilst having total disregard for her own mental health and stability. It’s painful to hear her describe herself as selfish when in actuality she’s embodying the absolute definition of selflessness.

“_Are those moments gone forever?_” she continues, “_I want to experience those wondrous times with him again, where we didn’t care if other people thought we were weird when we played together; all that mattered was that we were happy. But things aren’t like that anymore. Whilst I’m desperately clinging onto the past, he’s moved on._”

“Eh, that’s kinda tame compared to what I was expecting,” Natsuki shrugs. “Although I bet that was super awkward…”

“Oh?” Monika cocks an eyebrow at Natsuki, “and what, pray tell, were you anticipating two middle school kids could’ve gotten up to?”

“I dunno, like… they accidentally kissed or something?”

“_Heh, I wish I’d been brave enough to go for one back then,” _Sayori smirks to herself. “_But maybe my time has come and gone._”

Poor Sayori; maybe some other time, I’ll come up with a way to talk to her about this. On a regular basis I find myself getting flustered by general social interaction; I imagine at the very least I could lend her an understanding ear.

“Alright!” Monika claps her hands together, “Now there’s just one person left who needs to go!”


	6. Enlightening

_Oh no._

How’d it not occur to me that eventually _I _would have to take a turn? I must’ve gotten so caught up in hearing what everybody else was thinking that the notion had totally escaped my mind.

Sayori looked off to the side thoughtfully. With any luck, whatever she has in store will be tepid in comparison to the sorts of things everybody else has been thinking of tonight…

“Guys!” Sayori pouts, “I can’t think of anything!”

“_I don’t want to make Yuri do anything she’s uncomfortable doing…_” she looks away bashfully. “_Sorry to disappoint you all, but… I don’t want to give her any more reasons to dislike me…_”

Sayori thinks that I… dislike her? I haven’t done anything to indicate that, have I?

Of course, I suppose I haven’t done anything to show her that I think of her as a friend, have I? Outside of general polite pleasantries in the club, the two of us rarely talk.

_Maybe I should think of some way to change that? _

“Okay then,” Monika points outwards, commanding our attention, “shall I present Yuri her options?”

_Oh gosh, that’s dangerous. Knowing what I do now, Monika’ll probably come up with something extravagant in an attempt to make this a night to remember. Although will her desire to create memories be outweighed by her wavering confidence?_

I look over to Monika, pleading silently with my eyes for her to be gentle. If only _she _could see _my _thoughts, then I could be a bit more direct.

_“Sorry Yuri,” _she smiles apologetically, “_this is all that comes to mind right now.”_

“Okay, so…” Monika clears her throat, opening a single eye, “you can either tell us what the last thing you wrote in your journal was, or… how about you kiss the last person who came up with a dare?”

“T-The last…” I swallow nervously, feeling my face flush. _What kind of proposition is that?! _

The last person… Sayori didn’t come up with anything, and Monika’s excluded, so that means…

“_Oh my god Monika you absolute legend,_” I hear Natsuki’s voice exclaim jubilantly.

“_Hopefully that makes up for putting you on the spot earlier,_” Monika winks over at her before turning towards me expectantly. “So Yuri, what’s it gonna be?”

“Y-You…! Surely y-y-you’re…!”

I can barely bring myself to do anything but stammer. Those two options are hardly fair; they’re basically both dares! Reading aloud from my journal, where I keep my most closely guarded thoughts… that’s absolutely out of the question. But the other option…

I glance over at Natsuki. Although she attempts to maintain a casual expression, her eyes sparkle with anticipation, and her internal dialogue betrays her.

“_Man, I’m so glad Monika said that; it’d sound so desperate coming from me, but… damn, please Yuri, come over here…_”

Deep breath. I can get this over with, and then we can move on.

…if only it were that easy. I inch towards her, and suddenly become conscious of how fast my heartbeat has become. The world around me feels like it’s dimming, with the only light coming… from…

_Did she always look so… charming? Is there a reason why I find myself drawn towards her? Even though we have our moments of disagreement, is that simply a subconscious excuse to speak with her? This whole time, was she feeling the same way? Although she probably has thought about this a lot more than I have, given her general line of thinking tonight, but maybe I’m just inexperienced in infatuation and failed to recognize it, and now I’m overthinking things and-_

Taking another deep breath, I move in. Caught up in a blend of nervous shivering and desire for release of an aching heart, I give her a tender kiss on the lips. She gasps suddenly, and her face radiates heat.

“Aaaaahhh! She actually did it!” Sayori shouts, giddily kicking at the air.

“_You owe me one, Natsuki,_” Monika thinks to herself, resigning herself to a sly grin.

“Y-Yes, well…” I cough bashfully, pulling back, “t-that… was…”

At that point, my nerves finally catch up to me, presenting themselves as a whirlwind of butterflies in my stomach. _Natsuki, say something!_

However, she seems to have left the room for now, simply staring forward in apparent disbelief.

“_ohmygodsheactuallywentforitgoddamnthatwasawesomeherlipsaresosoftandperfectwowholyfuckIwasn’texpectinghertoactuallydothatbutI’msohappyIdecidedtocomeovertothisinsteadofstayingathomeandplaying_Banjo-Threeie_allnightaaaaaahhhhhhbutI’lltotallyhavetogohomeandplaythatlaterbutrightnowshejustkissedmeanditwasperfectfuckfuckaaaaahhhh”_

“I have to say Yuri, I’m impressed,” Monika shrugs, “I didn’t think you’d have it in you to do something like that.”

“T-The rules of the game called f-for… something like…” I mumble, forgetting where the rest of my sentence was going. All I can think about is what I’d just done, and the impact it’d had on Natsuki.

“Do you have anything to add, Natsuki?”

“…yeah…” she sighs, before flopping back into her seat.

“Well, with Natsuki out of commission for the time being,” Monika looks over to me and gives me a wink, “I think this’d be as good a time as any to take a break!”

_That sounds like a good idea… I think I could use some time myself…_


	7. Reprieve

“I’ll be back in a moment, okay?” Monika smiles before pivoting on her heel and quickly leaving the room, presumably to gather whatever she has in mind for a “break”.

“_Well, it looks like everyone is doing okay at least,_” I hear Monika sigh internally. “_Did I go too far just now, asking Yuri to do that? I didn’t even consider how she would feel about it; I was just dead set on creating a ‘memorable occasion’, whatever that means. Perhaps I should take it a little easier going forward…”_

I can understand where Monika is coming from; it must be quite stressful juggling hospitality with calculated relatability. She must feel lonely being at the top, and as a result alienated in regards to appropriate discussions amongst friends.

_In a way, I suppose we’re not that different, are we…?_

Glancing over at Natsuki, I notice she’s still staring forward absentmindedly.

“_I still can’t believe that actually happened though… can we talk about this? Although I don’t know who I could really talk about it with… fuck…”_

My face flushes slightly, filling my cheeks with a soft warmth. I’m still having trouble believing that it happened myself, and I was the one who instigated it. Maybe I got swept up in the moment hearing what Natsuki was thinking and what she wanted, and forgot where I was. But I didn’t dislike it; actually, quite the contrary.

_Regardless, I feel like this is something the two of us should discuss later at some point._

After a few moments, Monika returns with a tray of mugs, placing it daintily on a small table nearby. An alluring trail of steam wafts out of the tops of each mug, beckoning me.

Sayori immediately perks up, floating over. “I smell something sweet~!”

“Ahaha! I thought you all might like something comforting after all of that, so I made hot cocoa! Think of it as a gift for you all being such good sports!”

“_Ugh, did I really just say that?_” Monika flinches, as if embarrassed, “_who talks like that? Who am I, their mum?”_

“Ah! Is that one for me?” Sayori gasps, pointing towards a bright yellow mug with a generous amount of whipped cream on top. “And… did you tailor these towards everyone?”

Curious, I wander over. Sure enough, the two other mugs on the tray lack cream. However, there’s a pastelle pink mug filled with marshmallows, and another deep blue one with a darker hue.

“Well, I just wanted to show you guys I really do care about you. I know you like cream, Natsuki likes sweets with her sweets, and I recall Yuri mentioning preferring darker chocolate.”

“That’s…actually rather nice of you, Monika,” I smile, taking the mug she’d set aside for me. Closing my eyes to fully concentrate on the flavour, I take a sip.

It’s pleasantly warm; not scalding hot, but a perfect temperature to just drink without thought. It’s rich and fulfilling, like a proud sunset casting its light across a rippling ocean.

I decide to also bring Natsuki hers; hopefully I can bring her back into commission. “Thank you very much, Monika!”

“Yeah, you’re the best Monika!” Sayori laughs, not noticing a small dollop of cream on her nose.

“You’re…” Monika pauses, before returning my smile, “…you’re welcome!”

“_This light feeling… is it validation? Am I actually being a good host to everyone? Whatever it is, I really needed to hear that…”_

Allowing a small smirk to play across my face, I set Natsuki’s mug down next to her and reach out to tap her on the shoulder. However, I remember how earlier she’d mentioned not liking to be suddenly touched, so I instead clear my throat. She looks up, and I nod towards her mug.

“Oh. Cool! Cocoa!” She grins, taking it from me.

“W-Well, it’d be hot, wouldn’t it?” I giggle quietly. Whether out of politeness or sharing my lackluster sense of humour, she also chuckles.

“_Nah, you’re the one who’s hot…_”

Surprised at her boldness, I suddenly gasp and choke on my cocoa. Torn between coughing in desperation to find my breath and attempting to force out a well-mannered request to excuse myself, I manage to set my mug down and run towards a different room. If I’m going to choke and die, I’ll be polite and do it away from the others.

“_Damn, I guess I literally took her breath away,” _Natsuki thinks with a mix of shock and smugness.

In a vain attempt to stop the coughing, I try to reach behind and thump myself in the back. However, at this angle I can’t do it with enough force to do anything besides give me some pain.

_Oh god… that might actually be the last thing I hear…_

“Hold on, Yuri!”

_SMACK!_

Out of nowhere, something slaps my back, and I’m able to breathe again. Taking in a deep breath of delicious air, I turn around to see…

“S-Sayori?” I say meekly, “W-Was that…you?”

“Heh,” she rubs the back of her head, “Emery would do that when we were kids and I’d try drinking milk whilst telling a story, and then it’d end up going the wrong way, but then that’d help and, uh… did it help?”

_I… what?_

“Yes…t-thank you, Sayori…”

She smiles to herself before awkwardly looking off to the side. “_Why did I go with that dumb story? That doesn’t matter! I should’ve asked if she was okay! Idiot, now she’s just going to think you’re some silly little girl who doesn’t take things seriously!_”

“Well, uh, eheh…” she looks back at me nervously, “I-I’m gonna… go back now!”

“S-Sayori, wait!”

I reach out towards her, placing my hand on her shoulder.

“Thank you, really. But hey, um, before you head back… is there something on your mind?”


	8. Reassurance

“Eh?” Sayori raises an eyebrow, cocking her head towards me playfully. “I’m fine! You don’t need to worry about me!”

“_But what if she can help? Here’s someone offering to lend an ear, take it!”_

“Well,” I glance off to the side, choosing my words carefully, “I know I don’t _need_ to, but… you’re my friend, Sayori. “If something’s bothering you, then you don’t have to keep it bottled up.”

“_She called me her friend…! But what if that’s just out of pity? Yuri’s so elegant and well-spoken, there’s no way I could be on her level…”_

“Ehehe, thanks, but really, I’m okay!” she titters.

“_Oh my god, you’re such a coward. You’re like one ‘how are you’ away from breaking down in front of everyone and you’re still trying to push away any attempts from those around you to help. Stuff like this, it’s exactly why Emery will never-“_

“A-Are you sure?” I reach out and place my hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“U-Uh…”

Sayori tries to maintain her smile, but her lips quiver ever so slightly. She looks over her shoulder, as if to check whether we’re still alone.

“I guess I might have a couple of things I’ve been thinking about…”

She wistfully sighs to herself, leaning against the wall.

“I know I’m like, the vice president of the literature club, and that’s cool and all, but… sometimes I feel like somebody else would be better than me…”

Well, it’s not what I was expecting her to say, but I doubt we’ll get to any kind of breakthrough where she feels like she can truly open up to me; Rome wasn’t built in a day, after all. But at the very least, it’s a start.

“What makes you think that?”

“Heh,” she absentmindedly twirls around a lock of her hair with her finger, “Natsuki’s definitely really fired up and raring to go! And I bet she’d love having the authority that’d come with an official title like ‘Vice President’, you know?”

“And you’re super passionate about everything the club’s supposed to represent! People would look up to you for advice or suggestions on stories to read!”

“Emery’s great too; he’s funny, caring, knows exactly what to say…”

“_…and he gets along with everyone he meets. He could be doing so well if I wasn’t holding him back. I can only imagine where he might be if I hadn’t been hovering around him so much. He doesn’t deserve to have someone like me be his best friend… but I’m too selfish to tell him that directly, so I’ll keep on sticking around and entertaining a fantasy that’ll never happen, with only the thought of ‘hey, maybe it could happen’ being the only thing keeping me going…”_

_Ah, there it is._

I offer her an understanding smile. “I think the most important thing to keep in mind is that, despite all of these reasons you might come up with, Monika still chose _you_. Perhaps in another reality I could be the Vice President; but even then, I think you’re giving me far too much credit, and yourself far too little.”

“You might not see it yourself, but you have an uncanny ability to defuse tension whenever an argument starts to arise. You see the best in everyone, and help remind us that things aren’t so bad at the end of the day. Whenever the rest of us get lost, we can always count on you to bring us back, and I think that shows a great amount of leadership.”

“…eheh, you really think that about me?” she looks up at me.

“O-Of course! I wouldn’t lie to you, Sayori. You have friends who care about you, and value your place in the club. I know sometimes it can be hard to believe when your mind’s in a bit of a dark place, but I’m sure anyone else would agree when I say I’m glad you’re our Vice President.”

“…thanks, Yuri. I think I needed to hear that…”

“That’s what, um… friends… are for, right?”

“_…maybe she’s right… I’m overthinking things, aren’t I? I should focus on what my friends say to my face, rather than going off the deep end trying to come up with excuses that prove they’re lying…”_

_“Although, she might just be saying that to make me feel better… Obviously I don’t know what she’s actually thinking, but…”_

I wince slightly upon hearing that. An uncomfortable twinge of guilt runs down my spine like a xylophone, bouncing rhythmically across each vertebrae.

“I, um, I don’t mean to pry, but… are you sure that’s all that’s bothering you?”

“Huh?” she blinks suddenly. “Y-Yeah! Nah, I’m alright now! I don’t know what I was worried about, but talking about it with you really helped.”

“_Heck, Heck, Heck, Heck, you’re showing, it’s slipping, deflect, get out of here before it’s too late…”_

“Anyways, how about we go back and see what Monika and Natsuki are up to?”

Before I can give her an answer, she flashes me a grin and skips through the doorframe.

I won’t lie; when I first met Sayori, I initially did think of her as having her head in the clouds. But I now realize that was rather shallow of me. There’s an old proverb that goes something like “people have three faces: one for strangers, one for friends, and one for ourselves”. Before today, I might’ve thought Sayori’s would all be the same, but it’s become quite apparent that there’s something more concerning at play.

However, even if I now know that to be the case, I can’t force her to talk about it. When she’s ready, she’ll ask for help… right?

_I suppose all I can do right now is reassure her that she’s not alone…_


	9. Soporific

“Ah, there you two are!” Monika calls out, “are you feeling better, Yuri?”

“Oh, y-yes!” I clear my throat, “I just, um, something went the wrong way, a-and…”

“And I leapt into action and saved the day!” Sayori cheers from across the room, any traces of her self-doubt absent from her face.

“_Damn, Sayori’s so lucky,” _Natsuki closes her eyes, “_If I was alone with Yuri over there…”_

“A-Anyway!” I blurt out, momentarily forgetting that nobody else heard that, “did we miss anything important?”

“Not really… I’m actually getting kinda tired to be honest,” Monika stretches. “Do you guys mind if we call it a night?”

“_Oh thank heck,” _Sayori sighs silently, “_I don’t think I could handle sharing any more stuff tonight…”_

“Aww, and we were just getting to the good stuff too!” she says out loud.

“I know, but we should save some of our juicier secrets for next time, right?”

“Fine… I could do with a bit of a sleepy anyway.” Stifling a yawn, she shrugs.

“I think that would be for the best…” I say quietly, hoping that ‘next time’ will be something a bit tamer.

“Eh, I guess if everyone else is turning in…” Natsuki shrugs, before nonchalantly heading out of the room.

“Okay then!” Monika grins, “see you all in the morning!”

…

_What a day…_

I’m not sure what’s more exhausting: making it through “truth or dare”, or wrestling between my internal monologue and the most intimate thoughts of my friends. Would they want to know that I can hear their deepest secrets without their knowledge? Would they be able to handle knowing that?

I run my fingers through my hair and let out a deep sigh, doing my best to relax a little before climbing into bed. I feel like I _should_ tell them what’s going on; even if they’re unable to help, at the very least they might appreciate my honesty.

But on the other hand, what if that ends up driving them away from me? If they knew I could read their minds, would they want to avoid me to prevent that from happening? I’m not sure I could handle being ostracized by my friends like that… but if I were on the other side, I’d probably like to know…

“_No, No, No, where are you?!”_

_Eh? That sounds like Natsuki… is she in the room next to me?_

I can faintly hear her pacing back and forth around the room, rummaging through her bag.

“_I didn’t take him out yet, did I? Or did I hide him earlier…? Or… I can’t have forgotten him…_”

Whatever it is she’s looking for, she sounds panicked and desperate. _Maybe I should go over and see if everything’s okay?_

“_No…Where are you, Teacup? What do I do if he’s lost? There’s no way the others would let me live it down if they knew I needed to cuddle a soft toy cat to get to sleep at night; Sayori would constantly get on my case about how ‘aaaahhhh that’s so cute!’, Monika would use it as an excuse to call me childish even more, and there’s no way Yuri would take me seriously anymore!”_

Well, I suppose that answers my question. But I’m torn; she really does sound worried about this. Although I can understand her concern; Natsuki seems like the kind of person who _would _need to bring a stuffed animal to bed, and with her personality she’d probably be incredibly ashamed if anyone else knew that.

But would that prevent me from taking her seriously? Whilst I do think it’s perhaps something most people grow out of, I know how hard it can be sometimes for people to find sleep. We all have our inner demons that gnaw at our minds, and it would be cruel to deprive oneself of something that brings them salvation, be it meditation, a peaceful book, or in this case, a plush animal.

I won’t pretend to know why Natsuki still feels the need to have a soft toy to sleep, but who am I to judge her for that? If it brings her comfort, then she shouldn’t be denied it. Whether she needs it only for another night, a week, or years to come, that’s something for her alone to decide. And out of all the possible things she could be doing, cuddling a cat named “Teacup” is probably the least harmful.

Although I don’t have a teddy bear or anything like that, there are… other things that I do when I need comfort. But that’s…

_How would she react if she knew I did that…?_

I shake my head, trying to dispel that thought. There’s no point in getting myself worked up over hypotheticals. That said, I can understand what Natsuki’s feeling right now.

“_Ah! There you are!”_

She audibly breathes a sigh of relief. “_Don’t do that to me, okay? I was really scared something bad had happened to you…”_

I know that she’d kill me if I said it to her face, but I can’t deny it’s rather endearing to hear how at peace she suddenly became. There’s a whole other dimension to her that I’d neglected to consider in the past… I wonder, will I get to see more of that side of her in the future?

Closing my eyes, I rest my head on my pillow. _Good night, Natsuki. And ‘Teacup’ too…_


	10. Stirring

Sleepily rubbing my eyes, I stretch and let out a gentle yawn. After I fell asleep, the night was relatively calm. I was expecting to hear what the others might’ve been dreaming about, but is that technically different from one’s inner voice? As a result, I was able to rest peacefully, secure in the silent comfort of the night.

In my still waking state, I dozily look around and wonder why there isn’t a cat curled up on my bed. However, I quickly remember that I’m not home; Mango is probably confused, and will most likely make a bit of a noise when I return.

I’m simultaneously surprised and not that Monika doesn’t have a pet. I could imagine her quietly sipping on a macchiato and gently stroking a shih tzu on her lap, but I’m sure she has a reasonable explanation.

But for now, I’m grateful for there not being an early morning interruption; I’m free to acclimate to the waking world again. It’s pleasantly quiet; all I can hear are my thoughts alongside the gentle breeze out-

_Hold on. All I can hear are my own thoughts…?_

This revelation jolts me awake, and I start pacing around the room. What happened during the night that caused this power to leave? I thought I’d be able to use this to actually make something of my life, being able to help my friends rather than shying away from the slightest hint of conflict. I only heard a tiny bit of what they’re going through last night; that’s not enough, is it?

I should at the very least try to recall the main issues everyone seemed to be dealing with; even if I can’t learn anything new, at least that’d give me something to work with, right?

Running a hand through my hair, I sit back down onto the bed. I suppose this is for the best; it’s kind of cheating to be able to bypass a large part of communication like that. I should practice my interpersonal skills a bit more rather than relying on-

“_Aw, damn it… why’d I have to wake up now? Yuri was just about to take off her…”_

Oh. I guess I was just the first to wake up.

I clearly am still able to hear about Natsuki’s fantasies, and I highly doubt she’d be saying those sorts of things aloud, and certainly not loud enough to hear her from the other room.

I breathe a sigh of relief, but the very fact that I feel relief is slightly concerning. This isn’t normal; I’m not going to be able to explain this anyone and be taken seriously, and whilst it might be okay with just a few other people around, what will it be like out in public, in crowds, where there’ll be a cacophonous cloud of chaos floating around at a frequency only I can ascertain?

But on the other hand… I _have _always wanted to be able to understand people, haven’t I? Is this the universe’s bizarre way of granting me that wish? I’ve generally tried to stray away from others due to fear of their reactions, leading me to have anxiety attacks as my mind reaches across the wildest possibilities of things they might be thinking yet not saying. This could be exactly what I need; I’ve been overly-analytic my whole life, but now I’ve finally been gifted something to help with that.

_Yet the question still remains… just how exactly did this occur? _

There seems to be a blank spot there… all I remember is that I tripped and fell, hit my head, and suddenly I had obtained telepathy. But that’s absurd! People don’t get psychic powers from injuries! They’d be much more likely to pass out, or go into a coma, or…

_…Oh dear, that’s a bit of a troubling line of thought… have I not been awake this entire time? But I fell asleep and woke up, right? Can one experience that whilst catatonic? _

_…deep breath. The amount of blunt force required to cause unconsciousness is far more severe than what happened last night. I’m here, I’m thinking, and therefore this is real._

I’m still not sure whether to tell my friends about this. I don’t want them to accidentally spill their secrets to me, but I don’t want to cause them to avoid me…

_I suppose that’s a bridge I will have to cross when that arises. But for now… I want to go home…_


End file.
